This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
