Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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