I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
