How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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