I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize