She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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