Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize