I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
