I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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