Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
