i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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