why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
