Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
