The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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