I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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