I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
