well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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