At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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