Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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