Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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