"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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