Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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