I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There's always time for handjobs
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
