I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
