Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
