so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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