Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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