Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
