i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
