$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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