This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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