I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
