All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
