Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
