If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
God, you're like boner-b-gone
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hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
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She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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