Are we in a gay sports bar?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Don't EVER smell your tampon
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
