if you like me you must not know who I am
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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