I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
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Do I have a choice?
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first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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