They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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