Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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