Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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