arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You were trust falling into bushes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
