I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
