Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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