just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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