dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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