your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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