Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm like, not good at living.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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