And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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