I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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