if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
