haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
