That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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