YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
