We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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