don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
