Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
