As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
