Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
