That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
